TESTORE - ROBERTO O RICCARDO

 

Here is an extract from the opera like wot I wrote today.

The opera Testore - Riccardo o Roberto is in seven acts but I'm told that this might be a tad too much for the in-cognoscenti who make up the readers of this blog so I have taken a piece from Act One.

The principals are Riccardo a music teacher of some renown known as Ei-Tu! and one Roberto, one of his pupils and a religious zealot and wannabe priest known as Fermare Il Ladro!

Act One - scene one - a music studio made out of some unused stables at the back of Riccardo's house:

(singing)

Riccardo: Ah Roberto, Roberto cazzo!

Roberto: Roberto cazzo?

Riccardo: Roberto, Roberto cazzo!

Roberto: Roberto cazzo?

Riccardo: Si, Roberto cazzo. You have taken -  my name -Testore.

Roberto" I have taken your name - Testore?

Riccardo: You have taken my name -Testore.

Roberto: Testore?

Riccardo: Testore!

Roberto: Testore?

Riccardo: Testore!

Roberto: Ah I see.

Riccardo: Si?

Roberto: Si!

Riccardo: A member of the damned.

Roberto: The damned?

Riccardo: The damned.

Roberto: The damned?

Riccardo: A calumnious member of the damned!

Roberto: Infamy!

Riccardo: Infamy?

Roberto: Infamy!

Riccardo: Infamy?

Roberto: You've all got it in for me!

Riccardo: That's an old joke Roberto but carry on.

Roberto: Carry On?

Riccardo: Yes,  Carry On Cleo. 

Roberto: Riccardo, take my hand.

Riccardo: Take your hand?

Roberto: My hand

Riccardo: I'll take you hand Roberto ...

Roberto: You'll take my hand Riccardo

Riccardo: I'll take you hand Roberto ... with the help of my sword.

Roberto: Your sword?

Riccardo: My sword!

Roberto: Your sword?

Riccardo: My sword!

Roberto: Belcanto? 

Riccardo: Spirocore Weich.

Roberto: Belcanto?

Riccardo: Spirocore - Spirocore - Spirocore Weich.

Roberto: Spirocore Weich.

Riccardo: Spirocore Weich.

Riccardo severs Roberto's outstretched hand with his sword made out of beaten together strands of Spirocore Weich strings.

Roberto: I forgive you Riccardo. I love you.

Riccardo: Cazzo.

TO BE CONTINUED

I LOVED MY LEATHER JACKET

I wasn't an early adopter of the ubiquitous leather jacket.

At first, when I was young, I could never afford one and also, not riding a motorbike never really needed one.

Later, when earning well and when  I could afford one, I chose not to buy one because I still didn't ride a motorbike even though I have a Cook Islands motorbike licence, and I thought that it was a bit naff when an older person wears leather.

"You lookin' at me?"

It wasn't until we were living in Canada that I bought my first and only leather jacket at Winners.

Here's a post I wrote back in 2013 about it. Unfortunately the images and video links were deleted for some reason as happened with all of my Canadian posts - copyright I guess.

WINNERS

The jacket was extremely comfortable, stylish and basically a chick magnet. Here's a later image of me wearing it when in London.

"Are you still lookin' at me?"

Sadly, the New Zealand soft leather, imported and manufactured by an Italian 'fashion house' eventually failed, flaking away in patches. I would have worn it for many more years having no care nor fashion sense as evidenced by my wearing of favourite underpants ...

... but, The Old Girl prevailed and, like those favourite green underpants, the leather jacket was put in the rubbish.

So*, where is this post going to?

Legendary The Chills musician Martin Phillips died on the weekend;

MARTIN PHILLIPS

His 'I love My Leather Jacket' song - the one that Google deleted from that Canadian post of mine has been a favourite song of mine for many years along with other The Chills songs.

Farewell Martin Phillips - your contribution to music has been phenomenal and I've had great pleasure listening to your songs. If I still had my leather jacket I'd put it on while writing this.

* I berated an old ex-schoolteacher recently for beginning a sentence with 'so' but - who cares eh?

TAYLOR SWIFT'S MUSIC IS SHIT

 

Readers may have noticed that I'm an old bastard and, while I like music in many different styles and genres I haven't kept up to date with most new 'pop' music. This isn't to say that I'm so crusty that I refuse to believe that there's been any decent thing produced since Buddy Holly took a nose dive as I have listened to, bought and even posted about some stunning new New Zealand artists (look for yourself through the earlier posts).

I am however crusty enough to know that a very (very) high percentage of 'pop' music made and released this millennia is shit.

Don't just take my word for it - have a read of this: WHY POP MUSIC IS BAD

Naturally I found this in an internet search but could have selected hundreds of other 'essays' to link to.

Here's just a snapshot from one page of hundreds that popped up:

Kooper Reece in Medium who wrote the 'Why Pop Music is Bad' article said these things:

"Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, Maroon 5, and Ariana Grande, all modern pop music superstars that all share one thing in common, a guy named Max Martin. The Swedish songwriter is the backbone to today’s modern pop music scene. With over 200 songs to his name, he is responsible for a majority of produced music. Being an avid listener of any music besides country, pop, and rap, my personal belief of pop music being the worst type of music is not only backed up by common sense but also proven statistics and research done at the Artificial Intelligence Research Institute of the Spanish National Research Council in Barcelona . The simple fact of albums sold, recently observed test results, and complexity of instrument use and lyrical concept only further proves the point of pop music being the worst genre of music".

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"Through the years of 1955–2010 researchers and scientists analyzed 500,000 songs and confirmed the opinions of many of our parents, simply put music is getting worse. The research group took these songs and ran them through algorithms that measured the following: harmonic complexity, timbral diversity, and loudness. First off, the tests confirmed that over the past few decades timbre has decreased. Timbre is defined as the richness, texture, color, and quality of the sound within the sound of the music. Basically is can be simplified as richness or depth of sound from the instruments and vocals. Through research, science has proven two things: over the past decades timbre has declining steadily over the decades, and timbre reached its peak in the 1960’s. This means songs have less diversity within their instruments and recording techniques. All summed up to point out that music has become simpler".

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Now, if any of that interested you then READ THE BLOODY ARTICLE!

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Today the Curmudgeon hired a housecleaner to do a 'spruce up' before The Old Girl arrives home next week (he's scared). The cleaner, a nice young woman who has just started her own business did a 5 hour clean and did an excellent job. Before she started, noticing the radio in the kitchen, she asked if she could listen to music while she worked. Figuring that she'd be unlikely to want to listen to the National Programme most of the day, TC found her a music station that suited her. It was appalling! There was very little difference from one song to another and the overuse of electronic voice changing devices was annoying (there may be a technical term for this but - what would I know?). I struggled to find melody, individuality, interesting lyrics, quality musicianship - instead it was just homogenised crap that appeared to have been AI created. Now, good luck to younger and up and coming musicians - long may they up and come but I'd rather say goodbye to those who have been captured by 'the machine' and churn out endless pap that keeps teenies, tweenies and even younger consumers enthralled. Taylor Swift is too bloody old to be pretending to be a teenager 'angsting' about crushes and love affairs - and, her music is shit.

A DIAMOND IN THE SMOOTH

 Richard (of RBB) mentioned in his most recent post that he would be playing violin at a wedding this weekend.

"I'm off to a wedding tomorrow. In Martinborough. I'm playing background music on my violin. The guy getting married is the same guy who replaced me with Neil Diamond (recorded music) when I was playing backgrounds a little while back. I guess it could be a short gig."

The background to that comment is found in a post he wrote back in February but to save you the trouble of going to find that and the misfortune of having to read the entire post I've put a screenshot of the relevant part here:

Of course The Curmudgeon made a joke about this and put the following comment on his post:

Anyway, moving on, I kind of like Neil Diamond or at least his songwriting. The earliest I heard were his songs penned for The Monkees like 'I'm a believer' which were very good.

I bought 'Brother Love's Travelling Salvation Show' album when I was in the 6th form at school. It was OK but then, in those days the other LPs I bought were by Cat Stevens, Moody Blues, Pink Floyd, Rolling Stones and Family so old Neil's album wasn't totally overshadowed except maybe by Harry Nilsson and The Beatles Abbey Road.

I listened to the odd Neil Diamond song on the radio over the next couple of years and some were pretty good but not good enough to inspire me to purchase the albums but, maybe I should have bought 'Stones' which, while having a couple of songs penned by him also had some excellent songs by other songwriters like Joni Mitchell, Tom Paxton, Leonard Cohen and Randy Newman.

It wasn't until I bought 'Hot August Night' in my second year of university in 1972 that I 'rediscovered' Diamond.  

On the double, live album many of his earlier songs were redone in an over-the-top gospel way, I guess using the 'Brother Love's Travelling Salvation Show' as a theme. I liked this though which probably reflects my liking of religious spectacle even though I'd renounced my catholicism and any belief in deities years earlier.

Now it wasn't great - I even admitted that to myself at the time, but it was memorable. It also was a bit of an insight into Diamond's inner demons that he was battling with. Sure, drug experimentation, introspection and depression was the norm back in the 'counter-culture' days of the late 60s and early 70s as seen in the music, poetry, literature and films of .... well any of them who were producing those at the time. Diamond wasn't slow in coming forward in that and put some of it into his music - 'Song Sung Blue' for example or 'Solitary Man'. I didn't follow Diamond's music after that and as such am just not familiar with his music from the early 70s on and didn't go to any of his concerts when he performed in New Zealand.

I do remember this little story though, told to me in the 1990s. A friend of mine was once the general manager of a major hotel that often hosted celebrity music, fashion and political 'stars'. She told me that one night, in the early hours of the morning she was awakened, in her penthouse apartment by a staff member and told of an on-going incident she needed to check out. The 'incident' was old Neil stumbling and bumbling about in the alley beside the hotel creating mess and mayhem. She went down, spoke to him and gently ushered him away and back to his room. It turned out that he was in one of his episodes and I'm just glad that it was my caring and very professional friend who quietly dealt to the situation and not some (in later times I guess) self-serving, social media influenced cell-phone-camera carrying idiot.

While Neil Diamond's music no longer inspires or interests me I say "all power to you son - you are still going strong and have left those demons behind".

I don't like all kinds of music but do appreciate the skill and commitment that goes into a lot that I don't follow.

I'll leave you with this.

TIME - A RANDOM LP SELECTION

"I've been mad for fucking years. Absolutely years. Over the edge..."

 I'm pleased to announce that in a poll conducted on whether we should do a post series on the records I own, 50% of readers expressed interest and in fact indicated that they would actively read and listen to selected tracks:

Just to explain to the casual reader, the "I'll have a listen ... as I mop" statement was made as Robert the catholic goes by the new title 'Doctor of mopping' because he is a commercial cleaner by trade. There was no intended double entendre there.

In deference to the other 50% of active readership - the old guy in Wainuiomata who has no interest in social history, we've decided not to write a post on every one of the 500 LPs and a couple of hundred 45s and 78s as this would mean a daily post for two years. We will instead select some random discs and tell the story of those from time to time.

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Coincidentally or serendipitously I picked up Pink Floyd's album The Dark Side of the Moon when I went to the snooker room and have selected the track 'Time' for you.

Most people who have ever bought rock/pop records will have purchased this album or at least have heard of it. Saying that though it probably is new to Robert as there are no overt references to god other than the fact that the general theme is madness.

I bought this album sometime around Christmas in 1973. Most of the tracks had been heavily broadcast on radio during the year after the album release in March but it wasn't until I spent Christmas and New Year in Brisbane where my younger cousin had recently purchased it and played almost nothing else as we lazed around their swimming pool. I was enchanted and bought the album as soon as I got home.

I don't often play this album (I have since bought it on CD), preferring The Wall when I do listen to Pink Floyd but from time to time (see what I did there?) a listen takes me back decades to my university life.

After cleaning with isopropyl alcohol the disc is perfectly playable and I'm enjoying it once more.

This post is brought to you
by ISOCOL antiseptic isopropyl alcohol

THE RECORD COLLECTION. POST #1 THE CHAMBER BROTHERS **SAMPLER**

 When I was in the 6th form at school I had the lucky opportunity of 'going flatting'.

My dad took up a contract with the Catholic Church Wellington Archdiocese to manage the building that they owned in Taranaki Street which housed their administration. It was a 3 storey building (mostly still standing) that had a 4 bedroom apartment as a penthouse that my parents and two younger sisters moved  into. My brother and I stayed in the family house in Vogeltown but still met up each afternoon/evening at the apartment after school (me) and work (him) for dinner and contact. As you can imagine this gave us two a lot of freedom to do things that  adolescents want to do.

My brother bought a stereo system - probably a Philips but I can't remember. I do remember that it was more powerful than the radiogram that the parents had.

He bought all his crap and I, on a more limited budget bought my 'good stuff'. One of the 'good stuff' albums I bought was a 1960s compilation album that had a lot of the hippy, beat and rock anthems of the time including 'Time' by the Chamber Brothers.

This song and the effect it had on me was .....

THIS HAS BEEN A SAMPLER TO ASCERTAIN INTEREST IN A 'THE CURMUDGEON RECORD MEMORABILIA' SERIES. DEPENDING ON POSITIVE COMMENTS THIS MAY (OR MAY NOT) BE CONTINUED WITH.

"I'M GONNA START TODAY"

 

I've been waiting for The Old Girl to go away on her trip so that I could get the cartons of LPs out of the shed and clean them up and sort them.

Here are some of them and you can see that I've already started to make a mess hence waiting for Lynn to be away.

There are quite a few cartons of these - I'm not sure how many records but I used to have about 500. I've given away a lot and suspect that some cartons have been lost in the many house shifts we've done over the years.

I said that I'd clean them up and sort them but, on looking at the task I think I'll reverse that and sort them first before cleaning and straightening.

LP between glass, after cleaning, that can go in the oven

I'll sort them into piles:

• Investigate value and look to sell if a collector item
• Keep good ones and favourites
• Repack second choice ones and store away again
• Take straight and relatively clean ones to the op- shops to give away
• Dump any left-over rubbish.

This means that I'll only put cleaning and straightening effort into the first two categories which I expect to be about a hundred of them.

The cleaning process, using isopropyl alcohol and microfibre cloths might take about 5 minutes for each disc.

Flattening them between glass and gently heating in the oven will take at least a half hour for each so, you can see that it will take a while.

I bought a new stylus and have been playing some favourites already (Ben Webster's Blue Light, Jeanne Lewis's Looking Backwards To Tomorrow and Verdi's Rigoletto (which we will be going to see in Auckland in a few months time). They played nicely with a quick clean and the new stylus so I'm looking forward to rediscovering some great music. The amp and speakers are still working well.

While I'm missing The Old Girl I'll be in 'hog's heaven' for the next few weeks.